At the Center, we have learned that creating Gracious Space helps people open to new and deeper relationships that are capable of grappling with difficult issues. This newsletter shares a story of Gracious Space in action, the framework we use to help people open up, and a self-assessment tool you can use in your work. ~ Dale Nienow
The Four Openings: How Gracious Space helped land a dream job
A friend recently told us how she used Gracious Space to answer a question in a job interview. She believes her answer, and how she framed it in Gracious Space, helped land the job of her dreams.
Kris was interviewing for a pastoral leadership position in a Northwest faith community, and the call committee expressed interest in the congregation being able to have difficult conversations and shift the culture. The outgoing leader had been in place for decades, and the committee was excited about bringing in new energy and new direction. But, how would Kris go about that, they wondered? After all, there were still many members who liked things just the way they were.
Having recently taken a Gracious Space training with the Center, Kris recalled the Four Openings from the new Gracious Space Change Framework: Opening to Safety, Relationship, Risk, and Collective Creativity.
“I would begin by developing safety and building trust within the community,” she said. “I would do this by creating a gracious space within which to get to know all of you, understand your history, challenges, struggles and dreams, and not rush to make changes,” she said.
Kris went on to describe how she would prioritize her time to build strong relationships with the staff, the members and the committees. From there, she said, “We will be able to move into the difficult conversations about who God is calling us to be in this time and place, what changes that requires, what gets in the way of making those changes, and how we can collectively create a shared vision for the future. This can happen only as we listen and learn together with everyone in the room, with voice heard and respected.”
As she spoke, Kris could see their eyes light up with recognition and relief. This was the path they wanted but didn’t have words for. She realized that speaking of the importance of building trust began the process of establishing trust right then and there.
One of the committee members called her later that afternoon with excitement in his voice. “Can you send me that? I really need to know this.”
A couple of weeks later the committee announced their decision to hire her, and the report came back that some of the parishioners actually danced in the aisles at the news.
The Four Openings Kris recalled in a moment of clarity and good fortune are just one of the important features of the Gracious Space Change Framework, featured in the Center’s new book, Courageous Collaboration with Gracious Space: From Small Openings to Profound Transformation.
A friend recently told us how she used Gracious Space to answer a question in a job interview. She believes her answer, and how she framed it in Gracious Space, helped land the job of her dreams.
Kris was interviewing for a pastoral leadership position in a Northwest faith community, and the call committee expressed interest in the congregation being able to have difficult conversations and shift the culture. The outgoing leader had been in place for decades, and the committee was excited about bringing in new energy and new direction. But, how would Kris go about that, they wondered? After all, there were still many members who liked things just the way they were.
Having recently taken a Gracious Space training with the Center, Kris recalled the Four Openings from the new Gracious Space Change Framework: Opening to Safety, Relationship, Risk, and Collective Creativity.
“I would begin by developing safety and building trust within the community,” she said. “I would do this by creating a gracious space within which to get to know all of you, understand your history, challenges, struggles and dreams, and not rush to make changes,” she said.
Kris went on to describe how she would prioritize her time to build strong relationships with the staff, the members and the committees. From there, she said, “We will be able to move into the difficult conversations about who God is calling us to be in this time and place, what changes that requires, what gets in the way of making those changes, and how we can collectively create a shared vision for the future. This can happen only as we listen and learn together with everyone in the room, with voice heard and respected.”
As she spoke, Kris could see their eyes light up with recognition and relief. This was the path they wanted but didn’t have words for. She realized that speaking of the importance of building trust began the process of establishing trust right then and there.
One of the committee members called her later that afternoon with excitement in his voice. “Can you send me that? I really need to know this.”
A couple of weeks later the committee announced their decision to hire her, and the report came back that some of the parishioners actually danced in the aisles at the news.
The Four Openings Kris recalled in a moment of clarity and good fortune are just one of the important features of the Gracious Space Change Framework, featured in the Center’s new book, Courageous Collaboration with Gracious Space: From Small Openings to Profound Transformation.
The Four Openings
The Four Openings illuminate the often hidden aspect of group work – the energetic states of a group as it advances in its ability to work well together. The Four Openings guide us to listen more, judge less, hold uncertainty and lean into possibility. By working with the Four Openings, leaders and change agents can gently but confidently help a group increase its competence for courageous collaboration.
Below is a visual of the Four Openings, paired with the Four Stages of Change, and a description of each opening:
The Four Openings illuminate the often hidden aspect of group work – the energetic states of a group as it advances in its ability to work well together. The Four Openings guide us to listen more, judge less, hold uncertainty and lean into possibility. By working with the Four Openings, leaders and change agents can gently but confidently help a group increase its competence for courageous collaboration.
Below is a visual of the Four Openings, paired with the Four Stages of Change, and a description of each opening:
- Opening to Safety. Safety is created by making things known: the players, goals, expectations and roles. Without safety, a group will stall at the very beginning. When we wish to encourage people to show up and bring their ideas to the table without judgment, shaming or violence, we focus on creating safety.
- Opening to Relationship. Relationships are the vehicle by which work gets done, and strong relationships make change work more likely to succeed. Strengthening relationships establishes greater predictability and understanding, while simultaneously freeing members to bring their gifts and contributions.
- Opening to Risk. Many groups create safety and relationship but then fail to face the discomfort or conflict in their work because they are not willing to riskthe safety and relationship they have created. In change work true safety often eludes us until we face that which makes us fearful. To move from being stuck to a more powerful place, groups need to open to risk, face discomfort and explore the truth from multiple viewing points. This results in breakthrough thinking, which is not possible when the group remains at a superficial level of safety and agreement.
- Opening to Collective Creativity. At this stage the group is willing and able to be in an extended state of “not knowing.” They are open to uncertainty and new possibilities. Together they create something unexpected and more powerful than previously dreamed.
Gracious Space Self-Assessment
One tip we give people who are interested in opening their group to greater capacity is a very simple one. Ask each group member to complete the Gracious Space Self-Assessment and then share which attributes of Gracious Space they naturally bring with them to any setting. This conversation uncovers people’s gifts, similarities and interests which immediately builds safety and relationship. It enables people to claim a positive attribute which can be helpful to building group competence. And asking people to consciously bring an attribute with them creates a safety zone even in the midst of challenging conversations.
One tip we give people who are interested in opening their group to greater capacity is a very simple one. Ask each group member to complete the Gracious Space Self-Assessment and then share which attributes of Gracious Space they naturally bring with them to any setting. This conversation uncovers people’s gifts, similarities and interests which immediately builds safety and relationship. It enables people to claim a positive attribute which can be helpful to building group competence. And asking people to consciously bring an attribute with them creates a safety zone even in the midst of challenging conversations.
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