Many people have asked us to share more stories from inside our work, our thinking about important issues, and approaches we use to help people cultivate leadership that creates healthy, just and inclusive communities.
I hope you enjoy the story of Roca's work with teenage mothers, the reflection on civic discourse, and how storytelling in Gracious Space can open up relationships. ~ Dale Nienow
I hope you enjoy the story of Roca's work with teenage mothers, the reflection on civic discourse, and how storytelling in Gracious Space can open up relationships. ~ Dale Nienow
Using Collective Leadership to Address Community Issues
Chelsea, MA, is a densely populated immigrant community in Boston with one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the state. Roca, Inc., a local nonprofit that works with high-risk youth, had many of these young mothers come into their agency. As Roca developed programs to support these mothers, they convened a local Community Learning Exchange to discuss strategies for reducing teen pregnancy. They brought together ten teen mothers, fourteen student nurse practitioners and administrators of the nurse practitioner program at Massachusetts General Hospital to share experiences and wisdom around the issue.
The collaboration between Roca and nurse practitioners is an important part of the support network that is helping young mothers in Chelsea increase their capacity to create a good life for themselves and their children. Research has shown that children born to parents over the age of 24 are less likely to grow up in poverty. Because many of the young mothers had limited knowledge about birth control and did not have adults with whom they could discuss their questions about sex, having access to well-trained nurse practitioners can help these young women delay a second pregnancy until they are more established. Roca’s dialogue helped the nurse practitioners better understand what goes on in the lives of young people and what would help. Nurse practitioners learned how to better communicate with the young women, who wanted to be treated with respect as mature people, not as children.
The group watched a controversial TV movie alleging that a rash of teen pregnancies at the nearby Gloucester High School was due to pact made by eighteen students to get pregnant at the same time. Upset by this fictional portrayal of teenage moms and the reasons for teenage pregnancy, the CLE participants were eager to share their stories to create a different —and honest —picture of this issue. Contrary to common perceptions of teenagers who become pregnant, the Chelsea mothers are working hard to build better lives. They were earning GEDs, going to college, or working two to three jobs to support their families. These young women powerfully urge other teenagers to connect to a network that can help them make good life choices —and to avoid becoming pregnant as teenagers.
The facilitator of the Roca CLE, Victor Jose Santana, reflected on the power of the gathering: “We need to continue to come together as people, as communities, and have these hard discussions. We make a lot of assumptions about youth and about adults. We need to provide a safe place to have conversations. It needs to happen more and in a way that is not stuffy. We need to be able to say, here are our stories, here are our lives, what can we do to make our lives better?”
The Center for Ethical Leadership’s national Community Learning Exchange helps communities cultivate their local collective leadership and share approaches with other communities. To hear more about this work in Chelsea, you can listen to the Center’s weekly podcast, CLEOnAir. Victor appears on the episode from January 4, 2011.
Chelsea, MA, is a densely populated immigrant community in Boston with one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the state. Roca, Inc., a local nonprofit that works with high-risk youth, had many of these young mothers come into their agency. As Roca developed programs to support these mothers, they convened a local Community Learning Exchange to discuss strategies for reducing teen pregnancy. They brought together ten teen mothers, fourteen student nurse practitioners and administrators of the nurse practitioner program at Massachusetts General Hospital to share experiences and wisdom around the issue.
The collaboration between Roca and nurse practitioners is an important part of the support network that is helping young mothers in Chelsea increase their capacity to create a good life for themselves and their children. Research has shown that children born to parents over the age of 24 are less likely to grow up in poverty. Because many of the young mothers had limited knowledge about birth control and did not have adults with whom they could discuss their questions about sex, having access to well-trained nurse practitioners can help these young women delay a second pregnancy until they are more established. Roca’s dialogue helped the nurse practitioners better understand what goes on in the lives of young people and what would help. Nurse practitioners learned how to better communicate with the young women, who wanted to be treated with respect as mature people, not as children.
The group watched a controversial TV movie alleging that a rash of teen pregnancies at the nearby Gloucester High School was due to pact made by eighteen students to get pregnant at the same time. Upset by this fictional portrayal of teenage moms and the reasons for teenage pregnancy, the CLE participants were eager to share their stories to create a different —and honest —picture of this issue. Contrary to common perceptions of teenagers who become pregnant, the Chelsea mothers are working hard to build better lives. They were earning GEDs, going to college, or working two to three jobs to support their families. These young women powerfully urge other teenagers to connect to a network that can help them make good life choices —and to avoid becoming pregnant as teenagers.
The facilitator of the Roca CLE, Victor Jose Santana, reflected on the power of the gathering: “We need to continue to come together as people, as communities, and have these hard discussions. We make a lot of assumptions about youth and about adults. We need to provide a safe place to have conversations. It needs to happen more and in a way that is not stuffy. We need to be able to say, here are our stories, here are our lives, what can we do to make our lives better?”
The Center for Ethical Leadership’s national Community Learning Exchange helps communities cultivate their local collective leadership and share approaches with other communities. To hear more about this work in Chelsea, you can listen to the Center’s weekly podcast, CLEOnAir. Victor appears on the episode from January 4, 2011.
The Arizona Shooting and the State of Public Discourse
What kind of civic discourse do you want?
The shooting of citizens assembling in public to talk with their elected representative in Tucson, AZ, has catalyzed a great deal of reflection and analysis about the current state of public discourse. While the question about the role and consequences of extreme speech is currently resonant at the national level, it is not a new question for many of us at the local level. What is the cost of harsh and extreme public comments?
When public dialogue moves from disagreement over ideas to extreme characterization of a point of view or of the person making it, we all lose. This kind of dialogue creates great divisions in communities and reduces the likelihood of accomplishing the work needed in order to address shared issues. By creating demonic stereotypes of others, by comparing opponents to history’s most evil leaders, or by claiming their ideas are unpatriotic, we take away any room for genuine dialogue.
This division of community occurs when people accept and perpetuate the negative and simplistic stereotypes of those have differing opinions and ideas. People end up talking primarily with those who agree with them and dismiss the contributions of their “opponents.” This leads to associations that are more like exclusive clubs than strong communities. Communities are made up of people who have an array of backgrounds and perspectives and have found ways to be in relationship to create a common good together.
At the Center, we believe most people want something better. We believe that people want to sit down with other community members and work together to address challenging issues. For 20 years, the Center has been inviting people to participate in dialogues that provide an alternative to the harsh and polarizing talk played out at the national level.
Creating more authentic dialogue requires us to tune out the harsher messages we hear in the media and to encounter each other as people — as members of the community. Through this approach, we are challenged to suspend our judgments about others and to allow them to be larger and more complex than a stereotype. We are invited to listen more and to set aside the perfect certainty or self-righteousness that precludes learning from others. And we are encouraged to open our hearts, minds and spirit to the possibility that something more powerful can emerge from the dialogue.
All this requires a certain amount of courage. As we venture from the safety of our like-minded groups, will we be able to hold onto our values? A professor of world religions often has students who are reluctant to open up to learn about other religions. They are hesitant to do anything that will undo or undermine the power of their faith and beliefs. He tells them, “Understanding does not mean surrender.”
What kind of civic discourse do you want? This decision is not for a pundit or political leader to decide.
The choice is up to you.
What kind of civic discourse do you want?
The shooting of citizens assembling in public to talk with their elected representative in Tucson, AZ, has catalyzed a great deal of reflection and analysis about the current state of public discourse. While the question about the role and consequences of extreme speech is currently resonant at the national level, it is not a new question for many of us at the local level. What is the cost of harsh and extreme public comments?
When public dialogue moves from disagreement over ideas to extreme characterization of a point of view or of the person making it, we all lose. This kind of dialogue creates great divisions in communities and reduces the likelihood of accomplishing the work needed in order to address shared issues. By creating demonic stereotypes of others, by comparing opponents to history’s most evil leaders, or by claiming their ideas are unpatriotic, we take away any room for genuine dialogue.
This division of community occurs when people accept and perpetuate the negative and simplistic stereotypes of those have differing opinions and ideas. People end up talking primarily with those who agree with them and dismiss the contributions of their “opponents.” This leads to associations that are more like exclusive clubs than strong communities. Communities are made up of people who have an array of backgrounds and perspectives and have found ways to be in relationship to create a common good together.
At the Center, we believe most people want something better. We believe that people want to sit down with other community members and work together to address challenging issues. For 20 years, the Center has been inviting people to participate in dialogues that provide an alternative to the harsh and polarizing talk played out at the national level.
Creating more authentic dialogue requires us to tune out the harsher messages we hear in the media and to encounter each other as people — as members of the community. Through this approach, we are challenged to suspend our judgments about others and to allow them to be larger and more complex than a stereotype. We are invited to listen more and to set aside the perfect certainty or self-righteousness that precludes learning from others. And we are encouraged to open our hearts, minds and spirit to the possibility that something more powerful can emerge from the dialogue.
All this requires a certain amount of courage. As we venture from the safety of our like-minded groups, will we be able to hold onto our values? A professor of world religions often has students who are reluctant to open up to learn about other religions. They are hesitant to do anything that will undo or undermine the power of their faith and beliefs. He tells them, “Understanding does not mean surrender.”
What kind of civic discourse do you want? This decision is not for a pundit or political leader to decide.
The choice is up to you.
Difficult Conversations in Gracious Space
When we bring people together from very different perspectives and experiences, it is critical to create the conditions that allow people to feel safe and respected as difficult topics are put on the table. The important first step is to realize that time dedicated to preparing people to be in demanding conversations is time well spent.
Sharing stories invites understanding among people and helps them to challenge assumptions about each other. Recently, we spoke with the executive director of a non-profit agency who described how this worked in her organization. One of her staffers proposed an in-house discussion on issues of race and racial equity. The director’s initial response was to think in terms of goals and what needed to be accomplished in order for a “successful” discussion. But the staffer insisted that it was important to begin by inviting the staff to share their stories, and how their experiences had shaped their views and lives.
The director found herself moved by the stories. They had a much deeper and richer exchange than she expected, and she learned what was holding people back from fully engaging in conversations about race. Some of these reasons challenged her assumptions on why these conversations were so difficult to advance.
This opening conversation will inform their future work. The staff has shared a very grounding experience that encourages them to ask questions when uncomfortable issues arise, rather than withdrawing.
At the Center, we define Gracious Space as “a spirit and a setting where we invite the stranger and learn in public.” This is a simple, but not easy, approach. Over time, individuals who use Gracious Space reflect upon their own actions in response to their environment and ask themselves what can be done differently to encourage different results. Gracious Space invites practitioners to notice and acknowledge their assumptions about what other people think and feel.
One way to begin the practice of creating Gracious Space is to use story to define the kind of exchange you want with others. This can happen in ways that are simple and not time consuming. For example, you can ask questions to help people recognize the intentions that they want to bring to a challenging meeting or conversation. Examples of questions include:
By exploring these questions, people are invited to think about the kinds of qualities that encourage learning and positive interactions. Stories can be shared in groups of two or three people. When the storytelling is followed by a whole group debrief, you can claim characteristics that help you make others feel welcome, open you up to learning from others, or be respectful.
Once these characteristics or qualities are named, you can invite people to agree that they will pay attention to practicing these characteristics so they can bring their best selves to the conversation.
When we bring people together from very different perspectives and experiences, it is critical to create the conditions that allow people to feel safe and respected as difficult topics are put on the table. The important first step is to realize that time dedicated to preparing people to be in demanding conversations is time well spent.
Sharing stories invites understanding among people and helps them to challenge assumptions about each other. Recently, we spoke with the executive director of a non-profit agency who described how this worked in her organization. One of her staffers proposed an in-house discussion on issues of race and racial equity. The director’s initial response was to think in terms of goals and what needed to be accomplished in order for a “successful” discussion. But the staffer insisted that it was important to begin by inviting the staff to share their stories, and how their experiences had shaped their views and lives.
The director found herself moved by the stories. They had a much deeper and richer exchange than she expected, and she learned what was holding people back from fully engaging in conversations about race. Some of these reasons challenged her assumptions on why these conversations were so difficult to advance.
This opening conversation will inform their future work. The staff has shared a very grounding experience that encourages them to ask questions when uncomfortable issues arise, rather than withdrawing.
At the Center, we define Gracious Space as “a spirit and a setting where we invite the stranger and learn in public.” This is a simple, but not easy, approach. Over time, individuals who use Gracious Space reflect upon their own actions in response to their environment and ask themselves what can be done differently to encourage different results. Gracious Space invites practitioners to notice and acknowledge their assumptions about what other people think and feel.
One way to begin the practice of creating Gracious Space is to use story to define the kind of exchange you want with others. This can happen in ways that are simple and not time consuming. For example, you can ask questions to help people recognize the intentions that they want to bring to a challenging meeting or conversation. Examples of questions include:
- When were you a stranger and made to feel welcome? What helped you feel that way?
- When have you been surprised by someone exceeding your expectations? What did you learn about yourself in that moment?
- When you were a child, how were you taught to define respect? Which parts of that definition do you still believe? Has your definition changed?
By exploring these questions, people are invited to think about the kinds of qualities that encourage learning and positive interactions. Stories can be shared in groups of two or three people. When the storytelling is followed by a whole group debrief, you can claim characteristics that help you make others feel welcome, open you up to learning from others, or be respectful.
Once these characteristics or qualities are named, you can invite people to agree that they will pay attention to practicing these characteristics so they can bring their best selves to the conversation.