Creating Gracious Space: Working Better Together

1:00 – 2:15 p.m.

Type of event: 75 minute interactive keynote

Audience: 30 adults from business, government, non-profit, tribal, religious organizations

Facilitator: Pat Hughes

Date: June, 2008

Handouts:

Two page overview, Self assessment, PPT slides

I. Overview 35 minutes.

With opposing beliefs and fundamental differences about what the future should look like, our society often appears polarized and stymied in its ability to find common ground and move forward together. Despite a sense of hopelessness, deep within each of us is a desire to live in a society that honors and respects all people, to build communities that are sustainable at all levels. So how do we move beyond the impasse and not merely see this as a good idea? How do we close the gap between the ideal and the real?

Gracious Space is often referred to as one way to do that.  At CEL, seeking to find a way to promote the common good – bring together diverse people, reflect on core values and talk about what matters. To do this requires a different kind of space. A change of heart and mind individually and collectively.

Before I define, think of a time you might have experienced, pairs three minutes. CHART words

PPT – Definition

Spirit –

•         Bring your gifts

•         Assume goodwill (oh crap,)

•         Look for others’ gifts: there must be something good in there somewhere

•         Relational field

•         Tap your source

Sets gr space apart from other conflict res, comm, or problem solving models. Asks us to listen and act from a place of core values. The process of bringing about a condition of Gracious Space - where the spirit of trust and acceptance welcomes the stranger and encourages learning in public – begins with you and me.

Gandhi – be the change you want in the world

Liz story – I had to change, be more compassionate

Handout. Assessment – find 5 that are you.  Find one that you want to improve. Pick an attribute and write on name tag. Introduce to the group. Hi, I’m curious, etc.

This is what makes you a uniquely gracious space person.  When XX comes into the room, you bring this quality. People depend on you for it, get known for it.

Setting

•         Shift the norm (furniture, flowers, cookies)

•         Spirit of the place

•         Right approach for the work “no curbside conversations”

What’s gracious about this space? What would make it more?

Shift the norm: SPU: move piles off chair. Trainer for Kent police: toys in office for tough, personal discussions, Hopelink: ice cream socials. CEL: meeting balls. Horizon House: circle the chairs.

Spirit of the place: Story. Landmark Convention Center:

Campaign parties and election galas, now weddings, conferences, parties.

Convention Center listed on the Federal Register of Historic Places

Former Masonic temple

Stadium district, one of five historic districts in Tacoma, in national register 1977. “The area is important because it is one of the earliest  residential areas of Tacoma and it contains outstanding examples of high style home, building from the late 19th to the early 20th century, and gives insights into the lives of the early lumber barons and railroad executives.” From city of Tacoma historic preservation office website.

What native groups lived here? What did they do? Where did they go?

What might we be building on, expanding from, providing healing for, just by being here in community today?

Think of your own work space, home space. What changes might invite?

• Curbside conversation. Dale and Pat.
• daily gracious space
• inner/outer, mutual reinforcement

Invite the stranger

•         Who needs to be in the room

•         “stranger” as teacher

•         Difference = conflict

•         Role of Leadership to guide creative tension

Who needs to be in the room. Beyond tolerance for diversity, inviting the stranger welcomes diverse opinion and perspective. Unusual. Could be risky.

Stranger as teacher.  P Palmer. Shift to create space for everyone’s gifts to show up, see the challenging person or situation as a teacher. Welcome the stranger in yourself.

difference = conflict

In Economist, review of organizations and leadership who are doing things in a new and effective way. The Toyota Way: rules of culture, they name that one is respect for other people, not just as people, but for the ideas and skills and special knowledge that derives from their particular position in the company. They believe “if two people always agree, one of them is superfluous.”  Different opinions expressed, but in a respectful way.

what happens? behaviors. How do you welcome others? How do you open up to those who “trigger” you? How do you respond to the inevitable stresses? Mantra to stay open, it’s ok. Connect first, problem solve second, hold off on judgment.

Leaders manage the creative tension.

Learn in public

•         Vulnerability in self and group

•         Listening , Inquiry, Possibility

•         Take it off-line then back to the group

•         Learning for what purpose?

Takes time. Vulnerability, humility, risk. “I don’t know.”

Confluence – youth. Don’t feel welcome. Transformational. Bring up the unspoken thing.

An adult who ceases, after youth, to unlearn and relearn his facts and to reconsider his opinions…is a menace to a democratic community.  — Edward Thorndike, early American psychologist

•         Summary

•         What actions do we want to take to increase Gracious Space in our midst?

II. Application 35 minutes

Ok, good concepts. How to operationalize?

Small Groups: 20 min.

1) What about Gracious Space resonates with you? 

2) What aspects would you like ALF 15 to embrace?

3) What would that look like in behaviors or actions?

Large group debrief: 10 min

Closing Comments: 5 min

Oh the joy